I had been so pleased to see that someone was making an effort to collect the soft plastics and turning them back into useful stuff, so we didn’t need to feel so guilty about putting them in the bin! BUT, at the end of 2018 these soft plastics bins were removed from supermarkets around New Zealand. The reason for this is not because they were not being used, but because the demand was so great that there is now so much soft plastics being sent for recycling that the company that was processing them can no longer accept such great volumes. The collections may restart in April 2019, but from what I can see there is no guarantee that this will be a long-term solution to the massive amounts of soft plastic was are consuming.
Our family has always been pretty big on putting as much of the plastics, paper and glass that we can out in our recycling bin, and like I said we were collecting soft plastics too. The advice on soft plastics now, however, is that until such time as the recycling regime restarts we should go back to putting our soft plastics into the rubbish bin! Noooo!
This got me thinking. What can we do to reduce the amount of soft plastics that we bring into our home. I know we should and could do better, but it is often not convenient to make such changes. We’re all so busy that sometimes it can seem like too much to try and do these extra things as well. But there are a few simple little things that we can do to try and reduce our plastic consumption, so I thought that I would share a few of the things we are doing in our house to try and do our part for reducing plastics making their way into our bins.
Lots of the plastic that makes its way into our homes and offices is in the form of disposable bottles and cups. Make a practice of taking a reuseable cup with you if you are going to grab a takeaway coffee. I have a cool one that I was given which has a positive affirmation on the side, which kills two birds with one stone!
If you’re looking for a reliable cup option that doesn’t leak then a Keep Cup is a great choice!
I was given these amazing produce bags for Christmas. They are light weight enough that you and just pop them into your handbag and not even know they are there, so there is no excuse for leaving them behind!
These ones came from Countdown, but there are a lot of different options available online and I’ve also seen similar ones at New World and Pak N Save.
Make the move away from plastic bin liners. Our bin has always been too big to fit in the old supermarket plastic bags, so we were buying plastic bin liners (big guilt factor here). I’ve recently started buying compostable bin liners, which I think are a step in the right direction.
I’ve seen other people in some groups I am in ditching the bin liner altogether and just tipping the rubbish straight into their wheelie bin, but I haven’t been brave enough to try this yet.
The other thing I thought I might try is to use these paper bags from our Countdown deliveries to line the bins. I think we might need to double them up, but I’ll give them a go and let you know how things turn out!
I have been given a couple of these little draw string bags over the years and I always keep one or two in the bottom of my handbag. Again, they are light enough that you don’t even know they are there so there is no excuse to grab a little plastic bag every time you go shopping! These are great for places like the local dairy or bakery who haven’t yet made the move away from plastic.
You will have noticed that many bars and restaurants are no longer serving drinks will straws. Big ups to them! But have you also noticed that some of them have these pretty nifty reuseable straws too?
Some drinks are just better with a straw (like your morning smoothie), and the kids love to have their milkshakes with a straw, but I find that the paper ones are just not really a very pleasant drinking experience.
I was given a set of Honey Wrap drinking straws for Christmas, and they are so cool! They are nice and thick so your milkshakes and smoothies don’t get stuck, they are easy to wash and now we know that we don’t need to purchase the plastic variety. You can even buy some super affordable ones at Kmart, so don’t think that you have to miss out on these because of the price tag!
I’m loving my beeswax wraps. They make such a great alternative to plastic food wrap, and they make your lunch box look pretty cool too! Available in a range of colours and sizes there is a wrap for pretty much anything (except meat – they recommend that you don’t use them to cover meat). You just give them a rinse under the tap when you’ve finished with them and hang them to dry.
The pictured wraps came from Lily Bee Wraps, and I also have some from Honey Wrap. They are both of great quality. The Honey Wrap ones I have had for about a year and they are still going strong. Plus it is nice to know you are supporting a small kiwi business.
One of the best ways we can stop plastic from coming into our homes is to become more conscious about the products that we buy. Some simple choices about the items we choose and the packaging they are wrapped in can massively reduce the amount of waste going to landfill. Wherever possible try and choose items with minimal packaging, or at least recyclable packaging. For example, some meats come with a Styrofoam based which is not recyclable, but others come with a plastic tray which is.
I heard that New World is going to be trialing nude vegetables too, which is quite exciting. Hopefully more shops follow suit!
These small changes are a start towards reducing the amount of plastics that we consume, and hopefully over time the amount of plastics that are produced also. I know we can do more, and I will continue to look for ways to improve our family’s consumption of plastic.
]]>Being a mother is hard work. I’ve often had times when I’ve really struggled, some days to the point where I’ve wondered if I can keep going. Yet, if you’d asked me on some of those really tough days if I was OK, I more than likely would have said “I’m fine”. Like most people (I think), I’d rather pretend I am OK, than to let someone else see that I’m not coping. To say that you need help is to be vulnerable, and that’s a feeling that not too many of us like to experience.
Right now, I’m reading the book “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown which is all about vulnerability. I’ll put together a proper review of this once I’ve finished reading it, but what I’ve read so far has really resonated with me. She talks about how being vulnerable can be life changing, and in the context of motherhood I think this is absolutely true.
Being vulnerable allows us to accept help from others who either may not know that we are struggling (we Mums often make a pretty good effort of covering up our real struggles), or who can see that we are struggling, but don’t want to interfere if we don’t invite them in. I know there have been times where I have wondered if a friend could do with a little help, but I haven’t been too sure about how to approach them about it for fear that they might think I’m judging them (this in itself is probably an issue with my own struggles to be vulnerable).
Vunerability is not about oversharing. But it is about sharing enough about yourself to allowing others to see the true and authentic you. The thing about this is that because so many of us keep our feelings locked up inside (or at least locked inside the walls of our own homes), we often do not see that others are going through very similar struggles to our own. We see other mums’ highlight reels on Facebook and Instagram and we think, “geez, they have an amazing life, how do they manage it all? They seem to be coping so well, and yet look at me”. This pushes us further into our own minds and homes and can contribute to the feelings of isolation that so many of us suffer from. If only we were honest with others and show them our own vulnerability we could open ourselves up to a greater level of connection with other mums who feel like they are struggling or that they are not good mums, and based on some of the conversations I’ve had recently, that is most of us!
I’m so very guilty of this myself. I’ve had friends describe me as things like super mum or wonder woman. They wonder how I juggle renovating houses, with running my business, working part time and caring for kids. Generally, what they see is a tidy house and gardens, a mum with brushed hair and makeup on, or a well organised birthday party. Why, because that is what I choose to show them. What they don’t see is that on an average day my house looks like a bomb has gone off, there are dishes all over the bench and piles of washing on the couch. Those super organised birthdays don’t look like that until moments before they arrived, and literally 15 minutes before they got there was a crazy lady running around in her pajamas barking orders at hubby and the kids to pick up toys, hang decorations and generally clean the house before everyone arrives. Most of us do not want others to see us like this, but by hiding it we hide the struggle and can make ourselves less relatable to other mums because they think that somehow we have found the secret sauce.
Here’s the secret sauce though, this IS motherhood. This is real. This is how most of us get through the day, whether we like to admit it or not. So, here is what I encourage you to do. Be more vulnerable. Share more stories. Let friends come over when your house is messy. Why, because that is real. That is what motherhood is about. You are normal, I am normal, and by showing our reality we make other mums realise that they are normal too and we let them feel ok about that.
Hope you have a great week!
Kellie xx
]]>I saw a post the other day on a mum group I’m in that I thought was worth a bit more discussion. One of the ladies in there had asked if it was possible to have post natal depression when her child was almost 3 years old. Now I’m not a doctor, so I don’t claim to have any sort of ability to discuss a condition like PND, however, I do know that mum life is hard and different people struggle with different stages, so post natal depression or not I’m pretty sure that things can happen at any stage of parenting that can make you feel like it’s hard to cope.
When you become a parent you know there will be challenging days. You know a new born baby will wake regularly through the night, and that sleep deprivation is likely to be part of your life for the next few months or even years. But no one really tells you all the other things that might happen that make your life so darn hard, and some times just down right depressing.
For me personally, I found bringing home a new baby to be a huge challenge. Much harder than I had ever thought it would be. The sleep deprivation was much worse than I thought too, but that phase didn’t last too long and things started to settle down in the sleep department. That doesn’t necessarily mean it gets easier though, and I think that is what makes it hard in the long term. Everyone expects the difficult parts when baby is small, but you don’t realise all the hard stuff that continues for years and years and that can be hard to handle.
Of all the stages of parenting I’ve found the 3-5 year old age the hardest. We have a 4 and a 5 year old right now, and with only 21 months between them it feels like we have had a threenager, fournager or fivenager in our house practically forever!! I can’t say 4 or 5 is all that much easier either. This stage is a period where they are growing in their independence, and boy do they like to assert that independence (usually at the most inconvenient times).
Another thing that I’ve seen a lot of mums struggle with and that I struggle with myself is that I’m not even sure what happened to “me”. When you become a mum you can lose so much of your previous identity and your often no longer have the time, energy or money to do the things that made you happy in your previous life.
I miss the carefree coffee dates with friends, the after work drinks and the last minute weekends away with the hubby. I miss getting to spend late nights up reading my favourite novels knowing I could sleep in the next morning, and I’m so so tired of being woken up at 5.30 almost every morning!
It’s hard when you hardly ever manage to get a minute to yourself anymore (even on the toilet). It’s hard when you look at your child free kids and see all the fun they are having and feel more than a little bit jealous (and then feel guilty coz you know you should feel grateful that you have happy, healthy kiddies). It’s hard when you put so much effort into trying to grow happy well rounded little humans and yet no one ever shows an ounce of gratitude for all the effort that you put in day after day, week after week and year after year. It’s hard on those days when your kids do those things that make you start to wonder if you’re raising well rounded humans at all, and you start to feel like you’re failing.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I know that I have a pretty darn great life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sorry for myself from time to time. I love my kids and I’m grateful that I have them in my life – I wouldn’t have it any other way – but I wanted to acknowledge that being a mum is hard for more than the baby stage, and that if you’re struggling too you are totally normal!
We became mothers for a whole load of reasons, and there are most certainly a lot of rewards from having kids, but it is hard work too and we should try and go easy on ourselves for not always being perfect at the hardest and longest job in the world.
]]>Today I wanted to write a little story about the childbirth. One of the reasons I want to write about this is because, after the birth of both of my boys I had thought that my birth experiences were far from the norm, however the more mums I talk to the more I hear so may stories about how mothers’ birth experiences are quite like the ones on TV! I myself was completely underprepared for an abnormal birth. I never expected it to be a walk in the park, I had always expected there to be pain, I knew it could take a while and that sometimes on the odd occasion a mum had to have intervention. But most births are normal. It would seem not. Out of the mum’s I’ve spoken to about this lately the greater majority of mums had “abnormal” birth experiences.
I’m not wanting to scare anyone with this post. In fact, I’m hoping to achieve two things in writing this: (1) to help mums who have had what we might think are abnormal birth experiences to understand that you are completely normal, and (2) to help some expectant mothers come to terms with the fact that their birth might not be normal so that you can emotionally prepare yourself for this before you get to the delivery room.
Among my own family and friends we have had fast deliveries, long labours, emergency c-sections and unplanned home deliveries. In amongst the lot of us, there have of course been what we might call “normal” deliveries, but the greater majority were not. Below I have shared my own two birth experiences just for a couple of examples of a couple of the not so normal things that can happen.
Oliver – emergency induction with pre-eclampsia and assisted delivery
During my pregnancy with Oliver I had experienced fluctuating blood pressure, but for the most part things had been pretty good. I suffered from swelling later in the pregnancy, and due to this experienced carpal tunnel in my hands, but aside from this I had felt pretty good.
My mum had suffered pre-eclampsia with both of her pregnancies, and my midwife was aware of this so monitored for the symptoms closely. There was no sign of any issue and I remained positive that everything would go according to my birth plan (natural labour, birthing pool delivery at the hospital etc etc). I should say at this point that, if you are like me and your tend to like to be in control of things, the birthing process is not something you ever get much control over. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who has had a birth plan and actually been able to stick to it. I’m not saying not to do one, as if you are like me you probably feel a bit reassured just having the plan down on paper, but be aware that there is a high chance that the birth plan will go out the window on the day so just prepare yourself a little should that occur.
At my 39 week check I went into my midwife’s clinic as usual. Everything looked good, but when my midwife checked my blood pressure she noticed that it was higher than usual. We waited and checked it again, and then checked it again, but it wasn’t going down. I can’t now remember the numbers, but they were sufficiently high that the midwife thought I should go straight to the hospital.
During the monitoring my blood pressure continued to rise. I now know that the clinical setting does nothing to help my blood pressure, so my fears of having the check done probably contributed to the rising blood pressure, but after a few hours the decision was made to book me in for an induction the following morning. Although this was not the plan, I still felt positive that we would be able to have a good birth experience.
To try and get things moving naturally, the midwife performed a stretch and sweep and I did start to contract naturally, but things were not moving as fast as the hospital staff wanted and they decided that they should break my waters to try and “get things moving”. Now, I’m no medical expert, but I feel like this was the wrong thing for me to do, and I swore I wouldn’t allow them to do this the next time. As soon as my waters were broken, I experienced a massive and instant increase in the amount of pain, which very quickly became unbearable and led to me needing to have an epidural. Now, it’s possible that I would have reached the point of wanting an epidural anyway, but needing the epidural meant that I was unable to do many of the things (mostly standing and pacing) that had allowed me to manage the pain in my labour with Xavier and to ultimately deliver him drug free. The pain in my labour with Xavier gradually built up over time, and I think this made things much more manageable.
While the epidural eased the pain, it also slowed my labour. Things were not progressing as fast as the doctors wanted, and my blood pressure continued to rise. I was pressured to have an emergency c-section, but I refused. The doctors continued to monitor both myself and the baby and regularly checked in to see whether I was ready to go for the c-section. I continued to refuse.
My labour continued to progress painfully slowly, and the decision was made to give me a syntocinon drip. Still my labour continued to progress slowly, but sensing that I was pretty darn determined to delivery my baby the old fashioned way, one of the nurses offered to increase the drip to speed things up a bit. While this did lead to quite big increase in the pain from the contractions, it did speed things along and eventually I was able to deliver Oliver with an assisted delivery. It took about 28 hours, but we got there in the end and I was pleased to have been able to get there without having to get the c-section.
I had thought that after the birth of Oliver, the blood pressure would return to normal, but that was not to be. I ended up having to stay in hospital for about a week after his birth. Unfortunately the blood pressure stayed so high that I wasn’t even able to leave the hospital for my brother’s wedding!!
So, my plan of having a nice and natural water hypno-birth all went out the window, but this didn’t deter me from wanting to try again a year or so later.
Xavier – speedy home delivery
Xavier’s delivery also did not go quite to plan. Thankfully my blood pressure had been well managed during my pregnancy with Xavier and I felt really good when I started to get some early contractions. I called my midwife to let her know that it seemed like baby might be on his way and she told me just to go to bed and call in the morning with an update on progress.
After our experience with Oliver, we had expected that we would be at home for quite some time, so we went off to bed. A couple of hours later woke up and went to the bathroom. Shortly after getting back into bed I heard a loud pop as my waters burst. Labour progressed relatively quickly after that, but the contractions were still not close enough together that we thought we should head to the hospital.
After a couple of hours of strong contractions I really felt like it was time for us to go to the hospital, but my husband (who was timing the contractions) reminded me that if we went to the hospital too early they would just send us home and we certainly didn’t want to make that car trip twice. So we continued to time the contractions and wait.
At around 4.00 in the morning, after about 3.5 hours of labour I had this feeling that baby was coming, and coming right now. My husband said that this was not possible, but having done this before, I knew that feeling. Hubby called the midwife to get her thoughts. She asked him to have a look and tell her what he could see. He could see the head!
At this point the midwife told us that we would not make it to the hospital, so would need to deliver this baby ourselves! She told my husband what to do, and luckily we had an old shower curtain that we had kept to protect the car seat on the way to the hospital. We instead used it to protect our living room floor, and a few minutes later my husband delivered Xavier right there in our living room.
This is totally not something that we would have planned, but I have to say that this birth experience was by far a much happier, more comfortable and more empowering experience than my hospital birth. I feel like for me this was the birth experience I was meant to have with Xavier. I had been so terrified of going to the hospital that every time I thought about it my blood pressure went up. I’m not saying that I don’t recommend going to the hospital, and there are certainly advantages of going there (e.g. pain relief, medical support etc), but for me the unplanned home birth was definitely the way to go.
So for all your mamas out there who feel like perhaps you’ve experienced an abnormal birth experience, remember…you are not alone. Many, many other mums have experienced similar experiences to you, and you are totally normal!
So, just like I said about parenting above, if there is one thing I’ve learned about giving birth, it’s that there is nothing normal about it!
Kellie xx
]]>Breastfeeding. Probably one of the most controversial topics that you can write about on a blog about motherhood. I recently found myself part of a dinner table discussion over the pros and cons of breastfeeding. It seems that this is a topic where everyone has an opinion (including those who have never even tried to breastfeed themselves). Some time ago I had promised to share my own breastfeeding journey with you and I will do that, but I just want to say before I do that this story is my own journey and every new mother will have a different journey. I’m not saying that any particular method of feeding a baby is best. I strongly believe that as parents we must follow the path that fits in best with the needs of our own family, so whether you breastfeed, bottle feed or mixed feed (or whatever else you decide to do) know that I’m not here to judge. In my mind fed is best and I share my own story only with a view to helping other mums who may well be going through some of the battles that I had with my own babies.
To give you a bit of background, the World Health Organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding for babies up to the age of 6 months, with continued breastfeeding along with solid foods up to (and beyond) the age of two years. In terms of health benefits, research suggests that breastfeeding assists a baby’s early development and protects babies against a range of illnesses (see World Heath Organisation website: www.who.int).
From practically the moment I was pregnant I found myself being passed a multitude of pamphlets, websites and magazines all about breastfeeding and why breastfeeding would be the best choice for my baby. Like many new parents I was of the view that breast was indeed best, and it really did make sense to me to go down that path, after all, this was what my body was designed to do right? Well for me it seemed perhaps not.
Throughout my first pregnancy I was firmly of the belief that my baby would be exclusively breastfeed for at least the first 4-6 months of his life. The thought of needing to formula feed hadn’t really crossed my mind. The information that I had before me explained how breastfeeding would work. I had it in my mind that soon after my baby was born I would pop him on my breast and he would be off, happily feeding on a readily available source of super nutritious breast milk! All of the information that I had been provided with up to the point that my son was born suggested that this natural process would just happen and we’d be away laughing. We were not.
Despite regular feeds, in the days after my first son was born he lost a substantial amount of weight (most babies lose some weight, but Oliver’s weight loss was outside of that normal range). He was extremely unsettled and wanted to feed constantly. I was told that he needed to be fed more often and to just keep on feeding. This, I was told would increase my milk supply and things would improve. Again, they did not and with all of that constant feeding I was left with incredibly sore, cracked and bleeding nipples (probably too much information for some, but something I think you should be aware does happen). I was exhausted, I was sore and my baby was starving and yet I was told to keep on because this was best for my baby. So I did just that.
At about 3am on day three or four I was completely exasperated and called a midwife, who again said just to keep feeding, feeding, feeding. In complete desperation I asked what else I could do, to which the midwife replied…”there’s always the ‘F’ word”. The F word? What the….oh…Formula. Now, all I had been told for the last nine months was that breastfeeding was the best option for my baby, and boy did I feel like a failure just at the thought of giving my baby formula. So what did I do? I kept feeding (well, trying to). A breast pump was brought in that I could use between feeds to try and increase my milk supply further, and little by little my milk did increase. But not enough. My baby was starving, I had hardly slept in about a week and in the end I had to give in and supplement him with formula. I was absolutely devastated. Nothing had prepared me for failing to provide the most basis need of my infant son, but at that point what he needed was food and that was what I had to do.
In hindsight, I should have relented earlier and just given him the formula, but I really did feel that I was letting him down by doing this. And since having been through that experience and now having spoken to a number of other mothers about their experiences of breastfeeding, it seems I am not alone.
Reflecting on my experience now I really do wish that there had been more information out there to help me understand the realities of breastfeeding and to properly prepare me for that journey. There is so much information given to expectant mothers on how to breastfeed and why breastfeeding is best, but really very little on what options are available to you if you find that breastfeeding is a struggle. Yet, having now spoken to other mothers about these very issues it would seem that many of us do go through these feeding battles, feeling like we are failing our babies and with very little support.
On a more positive note, I do want to share what happened to me in the weeks after leaving the hospital that busted a breastfeeding myth that I had heard, and also to tell you a bit about my breastfeeding experience with my second son…
One of the reasons why I was so opposed to giving Oliver formula was that I was of the belief that if I gave him formula that would be the end of my breastfeeding journey. I had understood that once he took the formula my milk would slowly dry up, and I would lose the breastfeeding bond that I dearly wanted to experience. For me this was not the case. I continued to breast feed and to supplement with formula for the first few weeks after we came home. I also continued to pump milk between feeds and slowly but surely my milk supply did increase and by the time Oliver was 6 weeks old I was able to exclusively breastfeed him (and continued to breastfeed him until he was 15 months). It took a lot of effort to continue that pumping (and it may not be the right choice for you), but for me it was worth it to be able to continue that breastfeeding relationship that I had hoped for. So, I want you to know that even if it is really hard to start with, for some of you it may be possible to still breastfeed even if you do have to supplement with formula in the beginning.
The other thing I wanted to tell you was that just because you have troubles with your first baby, doesn’t mean you will with the second. My breastfeeding experience was so different the second time around. Actually, it was pretty much the opposite: I had milk straight away, and lots of it! It wasn’t sore either. So, again, don’t feel like because it didn’t work out for you the first time it isn’t worth giving it a shot again.
If you do decide to breastfeed there are a number of items that you can buy to make your life as a breastfeeding mum that much easier. Here are some that I would recommend.
Having proper breastfeeding bras and clothes makes breastfeeding that much easier (and with the right clothes, that much more discrete). Get yourself fitted for maternity bras. Having a comfortable maternity bra makes a world of difference. Also try and get some comfortable tops with easy access (I found clothes from New Zealand company Breastmates were fantastic).
This was recommended to me when my first son was a few weeks old, and boy did it make a difference. I wish someone had told me about this straight away, as it really helped to heal up the sore nipples. This is a must for the baby bag, especially for the first time mother (I found that I didn’t need it the second time around).
I found these to be really great and more gentle on the breasts than the disposable varieties. I used Lanowool breast pads and found them to have great absorbency as well as being gentle on sore nipples. You just rinse them out in the shower and hang them up to dry and they are good to use again and again.
Some may say this is an old wives tale, but when I was struggling with milk supply I was told to give Fenugreek a go. I purchased both Fenugreek capsules and breastfeeding tea and I’m convinced that this helped to boost my milk supply. There are also many lactation cookies out there which contain ingredients said to assist in improving milk supply.
Most maternity wards will have a breastfeeding consultant available to talk to if you. If you are having trouble with breastfeeding speak to your midwife or doctor and they should be able to refer you to someone who can help.
Whatever your experience with breastfeeding is, know that you do have choices, and you must make the right choice for your family irrespective of what others think.
All the best.
Kellie xx
]]>Following on from my A-Z of babies post, I thought it was time to send out a toddler version. Toddlerhood is a time of such growth for your little one: new words, new behaviours and more often than not walking! This little A-Z guide will give new mums an insight into what life with a toddler will be like, and hopefully for mums who have or have had a toddler, it will give you a bit of a laugh!
A – Activities – Toddlerhood is a great time to get out and start enjoying activities with your little one. There are so many great free activities you can do with toddlers, and a lot of activities for kids are free for little ones 3 and under, so you can have a pretty cheap outing with the family when the kids are little. One of my favourite things to do was to head along to our local library for a wriggle and rhyme session.
B – Behaviour – That sweet little cherub of a baby you had can suddenly disappear when you hit the toddler stage. That’s not to say that toddlers can’t be sweet and cherub like from time to time, but they do have a tendency to flick like a switch between different mood states, leaving mum and dad completely perplexed as to what they have done wrong. Simple things like cutting the toast too small; leaving it too big, or cutting it into triangles instead of squares (or vice versa) can all be huge deals when you’re a toddler, and often result in meltdowns. If you’re just heading into the toddler phase, remember to tread carefully with the toast!
C – Climbing – Beware! Toddlerhood is often when your little one will discover his or her love of climbing. Climbing chairs, tables, beds (well, any furniture really) and sometimes even ladders. These little guys and gals are quick so keep your eyes peeled for climbing hazards, which can be pretty much anything!
D – Dinner – Ah toddler dinners. The phase when things we ate this week are totally off limits the next, and the walls often get more of the food than the toddler does!
E – Energy – These little people can go from 0-100 and then back to zero in no time!
F – Fingerprints – once you have a toddler you can guarantee that anything shiny will be covered in little fingerprints. Car windows and sliding doors are prime targets for slimy little fingers to leave their marks. Be prepared with the glass cleaner…or don’t be…the finger prints will be back before you know it!
G – Growing – Boy oh boy do they grow a lot during this phase. Sometimes it feels like you’re constantly restocking on clothes and shoes. Thankfully in our wider family we had a few little ones who were similar ages, so we were able to pass the clothes around a few times and make the most of them.
H – Hats – Have you ever tried to keep a hat on a toddler? Winter hats, summer hats, my youngest son just wouldn’t keep them on!
I – Individual – Kids start to really show their personalities in the toddler phase. This is when you start to really notice how different they are from other kids, even from their own brothers and sisters. Different kids are so different and have their own different qualities and challenges. It can be really fun getting to know your little person during this time.
J – Jumping in Puddles – there is nothing more fun for a toddler than jumping in puddles, so on a rainy day pop on a raincoat and some gumboots and go puddle jumping! Such a great way to wear off some energy and kill the cabin fever!
K – Kitchen time! – Toddlers love to help, and what better way to get them helping than to get them mixing up a batch of cookies. Just don’t do what I did here and leave the flour unattended in the presence of your toddler!
L – Laughter – I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much as I did when my boys were in this stage. So much of what they say and do is just classic, and even when they are doing something that they shouldn’t be doing it will take you all your time not to laugh along with them.
M – Mum – Toddlerhood is often a time when your little one will start clinging to Mum. They are becoming so much more aware of what is going on around them and who they want to hang out with! Unfortunately, this time can often coincide with mum going back to work. I’m not sure there is any simple solution to overcoming this, but I think allowing some time for the kids to slowly transition into childcare before you go back to work can help make a difference. We started with a couple of hours, then a couple of half days and later onto part time, before I went back to work full time.
N – Noon – The time of day when your toddler will (hopefully) take a nap and give mama a moment or two to recover (or catch up on some washing). Also the time for your toddler to recharge his batteries ready for another afternoon of play!
O – Opinionated – Toddlerhood is the time when your little one will start to develop opinions all of their own. Some days you might just have to leave the house with your toddler wearing a pretty dress and gumboots and some days you might be taking them to daycare in their pajamas because they don’t want to wear clothes today. While this can be frustrating at times, it is all part of your little one developing their own little personality and sometimes it’s best just to go with the flow!
P – Patience – Something you will need to have a lot of in this phase. Toddlers can really test your patience at this time, and often their troubles are over things that us parents find to be completely irrational. Do your best to stay calm (easier said than done sometimes, I know), and if you can’t, then strap them in the pushchair and go for a walk. That usually helps everyone’s mood!
Q – Quiet – If you have a toddler in the house never trust quiet. Quiet times usually mean trouble. Like cutting your brother’s hair with the kitchen scissors or colouring in the couch with a pink highlighter kind of trouble, both of which have happened in our house.
R – Reward Charts – if you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and ears that don’t listen toddler hood can be a great time to start using a reward chart. We started one of these with Oliver about the time his little brother arrived and it really did help (for a while at least). The stickers alone are a great reward for a little one, and we decided that the rewards should be something simple but fun, like a bike ride or a trip to the park rather than something that we would buy for him. As the kids have gotten older we have allowed them to choose their own rewards, and surprisingly enough most of the rewards they chose were things like visits to their grandparents and rides on their bikes.
S – Speech – Your little toddler will no doubt be picking up loads of new words at this time. Some days you’ll struggle to get a word in edgeways! I loved this stage where they are still learning to enunciate their words correctly - so much cuteness right there. P.S. Don’t worry if your little one still only saying a few words – all kids are different and some learn faster than others.
T – Toilet Training – This can be another of the big challenges of parenthood. My eldest son showed little interest in toilet training, and it probably took us a good 12 months from the time we started trying until he was consistently getting it right. In hindsight, we probably started too early so we set ourselves up a little bit, so with the second son we waited until he showed signs that he wanted to use the toilet and made a big push over a couple of weeks. We were pleasantly surprised at how fast he got it sorted! Tips for getting started – get a good comfy toilet seat insert (for boys preferably something that isn’t hard plastic at the front as that can be rather uncomfortable I’ve been told by Mr 5), get some books about potty/toilet training and read them regularly so that your little one gets familiar with the idea before you want to get started with the training, and don’t start too soon – I get it that you want your little ones out of nappies sooner rather than later, but I feel like if you start before they are ready you’re setting yourself up for tears all around! (P.S. if you’re in New Zealand, check out the site www.looloo.co.nz. A friend referred me there recently and they have some great products for toilet training).
U – Underwear – Following on from the previous letter, underwear is a surprisingly important part of the toilet training process. Having the right undies really can help your little one be more enthusiastic about the whole toilet training process. Firstly, they can be a big boy/girl like their Mum, Dad, sibling, cousin etc, but also they can get them with their favourite character, and who wants to wee on Spiderman right? I found it helpful taking the kids to choose their own underwear. This seemed to go down better than me choosing for them.
V – Vegetables – Why is it that when little ones hit toddler hood veges that they would eat with no trouble at all suddenly become public enemy number one (especially anything green)? Getting veges into toddlers can be a right pain in the butt, but you usually can still get them into their tummies using a little undercover cooking. Grated veges can usually be well hidden in a lasagna or Bolognese sauce, and nachos can be an excellent way of hiding loads of veges without a fuss (you can check out my own nacho recipe over on my personal blog here). I also found that cutting veges into little stars or hearts made a world of difference!
W – Walking – Walking is a big development in the toddler phase, and while you might have spent half of their babyhood wondering when they will walk, you’ll probably find yourself wishing they would sit still for just a moment once they have found their feet! Suddenly you realise how many hazards there are in your house and need to start baby proofing everything, especially things like the corners of bench tops and coffee tables. Who would have thought those things could be so hazardous? Though I must admit, I do love watching little ones toddling around when they find their feet. That nappy waddle is just the cutest!
X – Xylophones – These seem like such a great idea when your baby is little, but once they reach the toddler stage they’ll be whacking that thing like there is no tomorrow and suddenly you’ll be wondering what on earth possessed you to get one…well I did anyway.
Y – Yelling – I mentioned voices in my last A-Z post about babies, but at the toddler phase they really do kick it up a notch! Yelling in the supermarket is one of my favourites…the number of times I’ve bought three extra boxes of cereal just to keep the peace!
Z – Well, once again I’m struggling with “Z”, so once again I’m going to rely on good old “Zoo”. As I said in my last A-Z, the Zoo is a fabulous place to take your little ones, and at the toddler stage they really get into finding and naming off all the different animals. A great family outing and a way to help your toddler learn all in one!
I hope you’ve enjoyed this A-Z! I’d love to hear what you’d include in your toddler A-Z, so feel free to leave a comment below.
Thanks for reading.
Kellie xx
]]>Babies sure don't come with an instruction manual, but I've put together this little A-Z guide which you might enjoy having a read of!
A – Advice – Everyone will want to give you advice about how to raise your little one. Heck, I’m giving you advice right here! Sometimes the advice you receive will be helpful, sometimes it will not be. My approach to advice is to listen, say thank you for that, and then implement at your own discretion. The advice you receive is often conflicting and you will need to make the calls about what advice best works for you and your family. What works for me, won’t necessarily work for you. You’re the best judge of what is right for your baby.
B – Boobs – Well, it’s hard to write a post about babies without mentioning them. For some people breastfeeding is an amazing experience, and for others it can be very difficult. I had two totally different experiences with my boys – struggling with the first one to get even a small amount of milk out, and then the second time around I had loads of the stuff! If there is one thing that I always tell people, if it doesn’t work for you don’t sweat it – you can only do your best, and it’s better to go for the other B word (bottle) than to put yourself under too much pressure trying to the boobs working for you.
C – Cuddles – This is truly one of the best parts of parenthood. There is just something so special about cuddles, especially with a little baby. This is a really important part of bonding, and I know that everyone says this about babies, but really make the most of it when you can (you’ll miss it once they’re running around and aren’t quite so cuddly…no, really you will).
D – Dummies – Some people love them, some people hate them, some people hate them until they have a real baby! I was adamant that my boys were not going to have dummies, until at about 1am one night after hours of screaming my husband decided to make a middle of the night run to the supermarket to find one as we were getting desperate. I know some people have troubles getting their babies to stop using them, but both of our boys lost interest in the dummy after a short while and took to thumb or finger sucking instead.
E – Education – This might seem a little random to include on a post about babies, but someone once suggested this to me and I think it’s a great idea so I’ll share it here too. Start putting a small amount of money each week into a separate bank account that you can use for your child’s education. It doesn’t need to be a lot, but if you think about it $5 a week saved for 5 years will give you about $1250 in the bank by the time your child starts school. That will help you to pay for the things you need to get them started e.g. uniforms, school shoes, fees etc.
F – Food – Starting solids can be a really fun time, or a nightmare! Babies are so different in what they want to eat and whether they take to solids or not. My first son was chomping at the bit to get started on solids and was trying to swipe food off us by 4 months. Our second son was not so interested and only really took to solids around 9 months. Our first son loved to have his foods pureed and would eat pretty much anything, our second son hated puree and would only eat finger foods he could hold in his own little hands. Plunket has some great resources about getting started on solid foods, and I found their one page guide to what’s suitable at particular ages a really helpful quick reference for what to feed my boys. In terms of recipes, I really loved Annabel Karmel’s recipes and she has heaps of free ones available on her website!
G – Growth Charts – I saw something about this is one of the Mama groups I’m in recently, so I thought I would make a mention of this here too. When you baby is born you will be given a Well Child book with a series of growth charts. One of the things us Mamas tend to worry about a lot is where our baby sits on the growth continuum and whether he or she is normal. I worried about these things with my first son as he was always on the bottom end of the growth chart (2nd percentile). Looking back I don’t know why I was so surprised about this…I’m one of the shortest people I know and my husband is blessed with amazing skinny genes which he passed on to our son, so our son’s size is what you would expect from someone with that parentage.
H – Hydrogel Breast Disks – Related to B, but these things are amazing. I had terribly sore nipples when breastfeeding my first son and these were a lifesaver. They are cooling and take away the burning soreness that a lot of mums get when they start breastfeeding. Put some of these in your baby bag. You can thank me later!
I – Infant car seats – This is so important to get right. There are so many choices these days, but not all seats are created equal and it is important to make sure you make a good choice. Do as much research as you can before purchasing or hiring a seat. It can be a big investment and you want to make sure you get the right one. If you can, it’s great to get a seat with an isofix base that stays in the car. It makes it so much easier to get the capsule in and out of the car and you can get baby all buckled in before you leave the house. We found Baby on the Move to be really helpful with car seat choices and are able to show you how to correctly install the seat in your car. If in doubt you could also contact a registered child seat technician for advice. A list of technicians can be found on the NZTA Website (https://www.nzta.govt.nz/safety/vehicle-safety/safety-belts-and-restraints/child-restraints/find-a-child-restraint-technician/).
J – Judgment – this seems to be something that is pretty much unavoidable when it comes to babies. Inevitably there will be someone who judges the choices you make as a parent, and often it can be the people closest to you who do this. Most of the time people mean well, and sometimes the feedback they give you is based on ideas that they have that aren’t the most up to date advice or which just doesn’t work for you and your baby. My advice is to take this with a grain of salt, and keep on doing what works for you. Also, watch out for judgment on social media. I’ve noticed that it can be the communities that are meant to help mothers out that have the most judgmental people of all in them. If you’re looking for a friendly and non-judgmental mama community head along to our Facebook page and join our Mama Group (The Mama Love Tribe).
K – Kleenex and Baby Wipes – something you will probably need to have in your bag for the next 10 years! I still carry around baby wipes even though my little ones are well and truly out of nappies. You never know when you might need them!
L – Lanolin cream – Again, related to breastfeeding, but this stuff is another absolute lifesaver for sore nipples. Put some of this in the nappy bag too.
M – Manduca or Moby Wrap – Baby wearing is big these days and it can make your life so much easier. When you’re making a quick trip into the shops or popping out for a walk, it can be so much easier to get out and about if you have a good baby carrier. I used both the Manduca (structured) and the Moby Wrap (soft wrap) for my boys. I also used a Snuggle Wrap (similar to the Moby Wrap). These were a lifesaver when my second son came along and I often carried him in one of those while my eldest son used the pushchair. Xavier was a real clingy baby and if I hadn’t had him in a carrier, I doubt I would ever have been able to get anything done!
N – Nappies – You will go through a lot of these! I’ve used both cloth and disposable nappies. I personally found cloth nappies to be very good, and I didn’t find them too much trouble to care for or to use. I did favour disposable nappies for outings and holidays however, and some day cares will not allow you to use cloth nappies either. I found the Real Nappies cloth nappies to be a great option for cloth nappies, and Huggies were my preference for disposables.
O – Onesies – Probably the best piece of baby clothing ever invented. Simple, practical, comfortable and make nappy changes easy. Need I say more? If you’re a new mama or mama to be trying to decide what to buy for your baby, buy these! They are so much more practical than all of the little cute dungarees, jeans etc that you see around. Love those things, and they are cute but my babies pretty much lived in bodysuits, cotton or merino pants and onesies.
P – Pushchair – An absolute baby must. For me, having a good sturdy pushchair was an essential. This enabled me to get out of the house and helped me feel like a human again. If I was to start over again, this would once again be the place where I put a lot of my baby budget. I purchased a Mountain Buggy Swift, which was light enough that I could manage it easily when I was juggling around kids, preggy bellies etc, and strong enough to carry a good load of shopping if I walked to get groceries. Though, if you are planning on having more than one child I do think it is a good idea to invest in a pram that can convert to take two kids. We ultimately ended up purchasing a double buggy, so I could still get around easily with two under twos.
Q – Questions – Probably the number one question you will ask as the parent of a new baby is, “Is this normal?” I had so many questions about babies and how to care for them, which I’m still learning the answers to as I grow and learn as a parent. There are lots of places where you can go to, to have your questions answered. Often a good place to start is your Doctor or Midwife, and believe it or not, your Mother! I can’t even count number of times I called my Mum late at night asking her for advice on whether something was normal and what I could do to manage a particular baby challenge.
R – Rocker – This was one of those things that I didn’t think I would need that I did need! You know sometimes you do just need to put baby down, and they don’t always want to just lie in the bassinet or pushchair. I found a baby rocker was a big help when you needed a few minutes just to prepare some food or whip to the loo. This was especially helpful when we had our second son as it enabled me to do activities with my toddler while the baby happily sat in his musical swing. Some days it was the only way to get him to sleep too! I didn’t splash out on anything too expensive – it was just a fairly basic second hand one, but it did have a battery operated arm which enabled it to keep swinging when you stopped pushing it.
S – Sleep (or lack thereof) – I’m pretty sure that whoever came up with the saying “sleeping like a baby” didn’t have a real life baby. Adjusting to the sleep deprivation of having a new baby can be one of the hardest adjustments to make. Even if your baby is a good sleeper, months of being woken up every few hours all night long can be hard to bear. Being realistic about the amount of sleep you will get and what you are able to achieve on little amounts of sleep is important in the early stages, and while I know you have 100 other things that you want to get done around the house the whole sleep when baby sleeps thing is actually good advice. Babies take time to adjust to the outside world, and every single one takes it differently. For our eldest son, the only place he wanted to sleep for the first few weeks was in our arms, so we had to take turns sleeping in order for him to be comfortable. That might seem kinda crazy, and isn’t usually the norm, but think about it from baby’s perspective. They’ve been snuggled constantly for the last 9 months, so being put down to sleep in a foreign bed must be a bit of a shock!
If you’re really struggling with your baby’s sleep I’d highly recommend getting the help of a sleep consultant. A good sleep consultant can provide you with advice tailored to your own personal situation and contrary to popular belief doesn’t mean you need to let your baby cry it out. We used the Baby Sleep Consultant (www.sleepconsultant.co.nz) with both of our kids with great success.
T – Teething – Teething can be one of the other big challenges of parenting. This period too often results is poor sleep and grumpy babies. Giving baby something to munch on really seems to help. I found that teething rusks and a teether that had been cooled in the fridge were popular with my eldest son, and my younger son really liked to chew on a cool flannel. I used bonjela teething gel to help ease the pain, and Pamol is a great help with nothing else will work.
U – Underwear – Here’s one for the mums to be. Pack your most practical and comfortable black granny panties (buy some if you don’t have them) into your hospital bag. Even better, purchase yourself a pack or three of the disposable kind so you can just throw them away during the first few days after your baby’s arrival. You can buy them at www.breastmates.co.nz
V – Voice – There’s one thing for sure, your little one has a voice even from the very first moment and they sure do like to be heard, but one of the cutest part of the first 12 months is often hearing your little one speak their very first words. Cherish it, and remember to take notes about when they first talk and what words they say.
W – Washing – Oh my, washing! I never thought my washing machine could go so often and yet I’d never ever reach the bottom of the pile. I don’t think my washing basket has been empty for over 5 years, and that’s not for want of trying. I’d love to say I have some miracle tip for keeping on top of the washing, but I don’t! The only advice I can give here is to try and not let it get on top of you by putting through a load each day.
X – Eczema – Ok, so I couldn’t think of a good X one, but this sounds like X, so it still counts right? My eldest son has suffered from Eczema since he was small, and it’s something that can be a real struggle to treat. We’ve found that wool layers close to his skin can actually make it worse, so for him it is better to have a cotton layer close to his skin. We also stick to bath products for sensitive skins and this does seem to help a lot.
Y – You – So much of you gets taken up in looking after your little one, and it’s really really important that you make sure you take time out for yourself. From time to time get someone else to mind the baby and go to the spa, the gym or out on a girls’ night. Trust me, this will help preserve your sanity in the long run and leave you feeling refreshed. I strongly believe that taking time out for ourselves makes us better parents, so go on and book yourself some me time!
Z – Zoo – Struggling to think of a good Z word for a post on babies, but I think Zoo is entirely appropriate! I actually spent quite a lot of time at the zoo when our boys were babies. It is a pleasant place to go for a walk around, they have lots of places to stop for coffee and the little ones love it. Oliver was probably only about 6 months old when we bought a zoo pass, and it made for a year full of outings for the two of us and as one of my other Mama friends had one too, it was a great way for me to get out with a friend and feel like a human again!
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